When Weary..
Waiting on the Lord – hoping and praying for something only he can offer or do – can be like a roller coaster ride. I should say “actively waiting” on the Lord. And by that I mean continuously praying for a thing, keeping our eyes fixed on Him and consciously putting our trust in Him.
This active waiting can begin with fervent prayer, strengthened hope, impossible faith in Him. Our eyes can be so fixed on Him and the promises of His word, that circumstances – the weight of them – feels light in comparison to who He is and what He can do.
But then time continues on. Our eyes become less fixed on Him simply because of the day to day workings, the weight of the circumstances, the subtle lies in our heads or the doubt of others becoming our own doubts. Eventually circumstances no longer feel light but daunting, overwhelming and impossible. Feelings take over and speak all that is too big and not right and the hope of the gospel and trust in Jesus becomes dim and small.
Weariness sets in.
Being weary feels like being being tired, but with a mixture of frustration and hopelessness thrown in. Being weary comes from putting forth all this energy and then coming to a point of feeling like you have nothing left in the tank. We get tired of saying the same prayers, hoping for the same thing, continuously putting our trust back in Him and seeing our circumstances remain the same.
Weary is defined as: - feeling or showing tiredness, especially as a result of excessive exertion - reluctant to see or experience any more of, tired of - calling for a great amount of energy or endurance; tiring and tedious
And this is why I made the distinction of actively waiting on the Lord. Because truly waiting on Him does require the effort of keeping our spirits, hearts and minds connected to His truth and promises and reminding ourselves our trust is in the Lord, despite our circumstances. After some time, and because of our human nature, it’s easy for us to become weary. Yes those things are life giving and keep us holding on. But don’t we see all throughout scripture God’s people going from trust and hope to doubt and weariness and back again? Unfortunately, it happens to the best of us, the most well meaning of us, those of us who can put all our trust in Him can become tired and begin doubting. He knows this about us, it’s easy to feel guilty and frustrated with our own selves. But that’s not useful.
What's useful is knowing His grace is sufficient and there is hope. Our spirits do not have to stay in this weary state. God knows how easy it can become for us to grow weary, how prone we are to shift our eyes from Him to our circumstances, how quickly we can become tired, doubtful. And so he talks about it all throughout scripture.. that we can regain that hope, strength and rest by turning our eyes back on Him – in prayer and through His word.
“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” – Galatians 6:9
“He gives strength to the weary and to Him who lacks might he increases power… Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary” – Isaiah 40: 29, 31
“…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” – Hebrews 12: 1-3
“For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes” – Jeremiah 31:25
It's interesting that scriptures speaking of weariness also speak of either gaining strength or finding rest. When we exercise and lift weights, many of us may think it is during that process our muscles are being strengthened, when in fact the fibers of our muscles are being broken down during that process. Instead, our muscles are actually strengthened, restored and rebuilt after the heavy lifting and while they are at rest. Much like our spiritual muscles are strengthened and restored when we find rest in Him. Actively waiting on the Lord does call for some exertion – fighting to keep eyes fixed on Him rather than circumstances and hearts fixed on His truth rather than our feelings. But actively waiting on the Lord mostly requires letting go, letting Him be our strength and finding rest in Him. Our biggest fight is keeping our eyes and hearts on Him and His promises. Our fight lies in not falling into the temptation of leaning on our own strength and elevating our circumstances over His ability. We claim the truth and promises, He provides the strength and rest. It is not by our might. Jesus is our Hope. And we can be strengthened and find rest in that.
“Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:28-30
Maybe your weariness isn’t coming from a place of waiting. Maybe your feeling weary in your parenting, in your work, from the state of the world or even from doing good. No matter what is causing the weariness, the answer is the same: Jesus. Eyes fixed on him, hearts meditating on His word, prayer that doesn’t cease, spirits holding on to his promises.
“Dare to stir up that gift of faith you’ve been given and walk into the future by faith, not by sight” – Christine Caine